So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
