I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i can't believe i had my finger in that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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