You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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