i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
