Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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