just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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