Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
