i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so let's talk penis.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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