The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
