You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
