dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I supernannyed him into submission
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
