Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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