i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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