are you still at the devil's house?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
