pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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