I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
