the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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