doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
