bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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