nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
