I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
