weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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