insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He felt like a one man threesome
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
