I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
that may or may not have been my penis.
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