used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
