My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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