So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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