Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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