She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
