I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
