we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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