yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My legs feel like baby dolphins
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
