i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
be right there i have to get my cape
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
