Its about making memories worth repressing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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