All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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