I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
