It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
