btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
