flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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