You're so nebulous sometimes
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Do vagina's smell?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
