i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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