How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
