btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
