I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
