I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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