Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
