Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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