I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
either way he was missing a nipple.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
