I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
