it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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