yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
